I’ll bet you never thought that “men not picking up their dirty underwear” and widespread environmental destruction were connected, did you? Well, they are.

The first one is annoying on a personal level and the second one is disastrous on a planetary level, but the attitude behind both behaviors is exactly the same. It’s the arrogance of the Manplan that says “I’m superior, I’m privileged, there are others to worry about and clean up the messes I make.” The Myth of Male Superiority (the Myth) told men that they were superior beings who didn’t need to be bothered by the ancient values of fairness and personal responsibility. So self-centeredness and thoughtlessness have shaped the way too many men think about the world around them (both their personal space at home and their place on the planet) for a very long time.

Dirty underwear left on the bathroom floor (Somebody else will pick it up) and oil spills in the Arctic Ocean (We got our profit, future generations be damned) are worlds apart in scale but driven by the same beliefs. The values of the Myth and the attitudes of the Manplan say that men are superior, privileged individuals who don’t need to be bothered or limited by the “rules” that apply to others. Women and lesser individuals are meant to serve their needs and clean up their messes, and the planet’s resources were given to men by god to do with as they wish.

That mindset began to be seriously challenged in the 1960s by the modern women’s movement (Pick up your own mess!) and the environmental movement (We can’t just stand by and let them ruin our planet!). But if we want to continue changing those attitudes of irresponsible privilege, we must recognize and change the thinking behind them. We must stop excusing and tolerating the Manplan attitudes of selfishness and conceit. Instead we must encourage and call for values of fairness, equality, and long term social responsibility.

Values that say men should not only clean up their own messes, but should do at least half of the daily work of keeping families and households running smoothly. Values that say men must stop treating the planet like their personal cash cow and trash can, and actively support an environmentally sound plan for long term stewardship of our limited resources.

All people, but especially men, must truly recognize that their life is but a minute on this Earth. We must fulfill our responsibility to create and preserve a society and a planet that will be there for the trillions who will come after us hoping for their minute, too.

What does it mean to be conservative? Well, the classic definition is “one who is disposed to preserve existing conditions, institutions, etc., and to limit change.” And that definitely applies to those who consider themselves political and social Conservatives (with a capital “C”) and resist or actively oppose changes to the status quo in America today.

But if the status quo is based on sexual and racial inequality and unfair treatment of the poor and the powerless, why would anyone want to maintain it? Basically, for one of two reasons:

1. the current status quo benefits their group (the wealthy, whites, men) and change could undermine their social and financial advantages, or
2. the current status quo actually harms their group but questioning the beliefs they grew up with is frightening or uncomfortable.

Getting the first type of Conservative to consider and support cultural changes that give more respect and opportunity to powerless groups is extremely difficult. Because it’s a tough sell to get someone to champion social policies that reduce their power and their prestige by spreading it around a little more.

But it can also be difficult to get the second type of Conservative to support change, because it feels like a sin or a crime to question “traditional values.” Because if you don’t believe in the complete package, no matter how terrible parts of it may be, you won’t have anything left to believe in at all. But where is it written that a thinking person can’t hold strong beliefs on many issues and still support progressive change on others? Values are not mutually exclusive!

To accept the basic equality of all people and support a system that truly offers equal opportunity and equal protection for all regardless of one’s sex, race, religion, or age should not require any lessening of one’s values. Believing in strict rules, hard work, honest dealings, commitment to family, church attendance, etc. should never keep one from also considering that there are some “traditional values” that aren’t right and need to be changed. If traditional values require sexual inequality in home or workplace, racial segregation, lack of access to contraceptives, a workforce that can barely make ends meet, etc., then those particular values definitely need to be reexamined.

We Americans pride ourselves on our independence, but too may are unwilling to step outside their comfort zone when it comes to considering social change. We pride ourselves on our generosity of spirit, but are unwilling to listen to the other side of an issue or find a middle ground that benefits the most people. But I think Americans are capable of great things! So maybe it’s time to understand that we CAN be both conservative and progressive. We can hold tightly to the values that encourage us to be better people (honesty, kindness, hard work, fair play) and still support progressive values of equality for all at home, at work, and at play.

Our EVE BLOG items come from the United States today.

Where we’re making progress:

It’s usually EVE who denounce violence against us. But our calls for an end to domestic violence were recently joined by what may have been the first large, male-led event in America on this issue. On March 23rd a diverse group of men joined their voices in front of City Hall in Dallas, Texas (of all places) to pledge an end to domestic violence. One important reason this rally took place in Dallas was because Dallas Cowboys players used their celebrity to raise awareness.

They cited the grim reality that domestic violence leads to three American EVE being murdered every day by their partners and the majority of injuries to EVE 15-44 years of age in America every year. The rally of hundreds included men of many colors, many faiths, and many walks of life who took a five-point pledge to:

1. never hit a woman
2. speak out against abuse whenever they see it
3. hold other men accountable
4. teach their daughters to never accept abuse, and
5. teach their sons to respect women.

EVE around the world are becoming much more vocal and insistent on ending the scourge of domestic violence and the cultural attitudes that accept or deny it. So when men hold rallies and take pledges to end it we are definitely making progress. (1)

Where we’re losing ground:

It seems like a no-brainer, common sense approach to stopping sexual assault. It seems like a statement that would be hard to disagree with. But when Zerlina Maxwell (rape survivor, progressive African-American writer, and political analyst) told Sean Hannity on a March Fox news segment, “I don’t want men to be telling me what to wear, how to act, not to drink. And I don’t, honestly, want you to tell me that I needed a gun in order to prevent my rape” she instantly became a target of the bizarre blame-the-victim thinking that still rules in the Manplan.

That’s because “she had the nerve to suggest that rape is the responsibility of rapists, not their targets” and that instead of arming EVE with assault rifles we should change the culture that makes rape so pervasive in our country. For having the audacity to place the blame for rape on a violence-riddled society that still demeans EVE, Ms. Maxwell’s Facebook and Twitter accounts have been inundated with hundreds of people calling for her to be raped, killed, and more.

But she’s definitely right! EVE don’t need more guns – they need more respect! (2)

(1) Starita Smith, Ph.D., The Ledger, Lakeland, Florida, April 2, 2013
(2) http://www.alternet.org/gender/survivor-zerlina-maxwell-defies-racist-death-threats-after-speaking-out-fox-news

A second installment of “looking at where we’re making progress and where we’re losing ground” takes us to Pakistan and Saudi Arabia.

Where we’re making progress:

The bravery, the sheer bravery is amazing! I’m referring to the gutsy, life-on-the-line decision by a 40-year-old housewife who has declared herself a candidate for the Pakistani Parliament. Badam Zari lives in the deeply conservative tribal region of her country that borders Afghanistan, but she wants “to reach the assembly to become a voice for women, especially those living in the tribal areas.”

Most EVE in Ms. Zari’s part of the world are not allowed education, rarely hold a job, and must strictly adhere to rules about covering every inch of their skin in public. But, despite these restrictions and social attitudes she is claiming her right to run for public office. Even if that will almost certainly bring her under personal and physical attack from Islamic militants who vehemently oppose any changes that threaten their stranglehold on society. This is especially true where she lives – a poor, isolated region in northwest Pakistan controlled by Pashtun tribesmen who follow an ultra-conservative brand of Islam.

Ms. Zari announced her decision at a news conference in Khar this week with only her eyes visible through the covering wrapped around her head and her body. I am truly humbled by her courage! (1)

Where we’re losing ground:

It’s such a simple thing. To get in a car and drive somewhere – work, a movie, a friend’s house. But in one of the richest nations in the world it is still taboo for EVE to drive, and they are accosted and punished if they try. This was made very clear to Manal al-Sharif when she defied the taboo and drove around Khobar, Saudi Arabia in 2011 while a friend recorded the event for YouTube.

This act of defiance brought her great personal satisfaction and a first ever award for Creative Dissent from the Oslo Freedom Forum. But it also brought death threats, arrest, and the need to leave her home country. The second time Ms. Al-Sharif drove her car she was stopped and surrounded by members of the Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice – the Saudi morality police. She was released after six hours, but rearrested the next day and held for a week until her father pleaded for a pardon and pledged that his daughter would never drive in the kingdom again.

These morality police hold great sway in Saudi Arabia and have the power to punish anyone they think is violating social customs. This was made horrendously clear to Saudi citizens when 15 young girls died in a schoolhouse fire because the morality police prevented their rescue saying they were improperly dressed. An appalling example of how no injustice is too ghastly if it protects the Manplan status quo.

Ms. Al-Sharif was pushed out of her job as a computer-security consultant, and now lives in Dubai with her second husband. But she must revisit the fear and uncertainty every weekend when she travels to Saudi Arabia to see her 7-year-old son. Her ex-husband will not allow the boy to travel outside the kingdom, so she is subjected to surveillance and monitoring whenever she goes to visit him. Such a simple thing. (2)

(1) The Ledger, Lakeland, Florida, April 2, 2013
(2) Sohrab Ahmari, The Wall Street Journal, New York, New York, March 23-24, 20113

As I mentioned in my first post, the EVE BLOG will “look at current events that show where we’re making progress and where we’re losing ground.” And two items in the news recently gave dramatic images of both.

Where we’re losing ground:

The way in which EVE are still targets of ignorance and cruelty was starkly demonstrated in Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea recently. A 20-year-old local EVE was accused of sorcery by the family of a 6-year-old boy. When the boy died in a local hospital, a mob played out a scenario we thought was long gone from our modern world.

The young EVE was stripped, tortured, and tied up. Then, in a scene right out of the Middle Ages, she was burned alive as a witch by the mob as hundreds of witnesses, both horrified and picture snapping, looked on. And this was just the latest sorcery-related killing of EVE on this South Pacific island.

Fear and ignorance are very much a part of our Manplan world. So the emotions that led to this grisly act of mob murder are well known to us all. But the fact that EVE are frequent scapegoats for those emotions is chilling. Too often, EVE are still the ones who are thought of as “suspect” “conniving” and “disposable.” And they are usually the ones with less power, less influence, and less control. So they become convenient targets for the mob’s frustrations and ignorance.

Where we’re making progress:

On a more upbeat note, there was a fashion show held recently that was positively unique. It wasn’t big news in the world of designer clothes so this particular runway display had less media attention than those held in New York and Paris. But it must have been a monumental occasion for the EVE and men who were present. That’s because this fashion show was held in Afghanistan recently.

Local EVE walked a candle-lined catwalk in a restaurant in the capital city of Kabal to exhibit the designs of Shahar Banoo Zeerak. It was organized by a group working to empower Afghan EVE by breaking down barriers in this highly conservative society. Zeerak commented, “The situation always gets tougher and tougher every day by day, but we should not back down. We are here to move on and move forward, so I think if women step up and they show up in this field, I think they will do a good job.” (1)

Among my generation of EVE in America, many of us staged our first “fashion shows” in our living rooms or back yards when we were children. But in a country where EVE can still be subjected to “virginity exams” or jailed for trying to escape an abusive home, the staging of a simple fashion show can have serious consequences. So, let’s send a big “ATTA GIRL” to these EVE in Afghanistan who are claiming their rights to be visible and well dressed, even in this war-torn, extremely conformist society. And let’s be even more thankful for the freedoms we enjoy and determined to expand not only ours but those of EVE as well.


(1) The Lakeland Ledger, Lakeland, Florida, February 9, 2013.

Welcome to the EVE BLOG. For my very first posting let me tell you what I’ll be writing about and give a little background on the book the blog grew out of.

The title is Conversations with EVE (short for Every Vagina on Earth – my term for women because words like “fe-male” and “wo-men” don’t say who we are; they just say who we aren’t). If you linked here from the website (www.everyvaginaonearth.com), you may already know that. If you didn’t, link back to the website to find out more about the book and read some samples.

First, what will the blog be about?

The EVE blog will be comments, information, and resources dealing with issues that affect the freedoms and happiness of EVE. It will share information about campaigns and activities that challenge the demeaning attitudes and restrictive policies we still face. And it will look at current events that show where we’re making progress and where we’re losing ground. Some of my postings may be irreverent and some may be humorous, but they will always talk about what’s happening with EVE.

I also plan to post about THE ADVENTURES OF EVE—questions, observations, and real life experiences. These will be personal views and stories of EVE shared either in person or sent to me through the website contact page. I hope to share successes and setbacks from many situations and many cultures, so please let me hear from you @ www.everyvaginaonearth.com. Because I know there are a billion stories out there!

Second, where did Conversations with EVE come from?

Like most “labors of love” it grew out of a desire to help people. My degree is in Applied Cultural Anthropology. And from my very first anthropology class I wanted to understand why people behave the way they do and why society operates the way it does. I had intended to study psychology, but soon realized that it isn’t the “abnormal” behavior that’s so fascinating. It’s the behavior that is considered “normal.”

It took me twenty-one years (1969-1990) to complete my Master’s degree, sometimes just being able to take one class at a time and sometimes being a full time student for a stretch. And during those twenty-one years there were quite a few things happening in my life besides college: marriage, motherhood, divorce, employment, remarriage, raising a son, being part of a large extended family, sailing, building an earth sheltered house nights and weekends with my husband, windsurfing, etc.

Through all those life experiences over all those years I came to understand the difficulties and dangers that many EVE face, even in the United States of the twentieth century. And I was given the opportunity to address some of those difficulties as Executive Director of our local Planned Parenthood affiliate. I really wanted this job because it was the only position in my area that would pay me to advocate for EVE’s rights. And that’s what I did for eight years. But it became apparent that there would be more money to provide reproductive health services to low income EVE if there was less overhead. So, I spent my last year at Planned Parenthood merging two affiliates and eliminating my position.

I had planned to take a little time off before returning to work since I’d been so busy for so long (with two ulcers while I was at PP). But my husband urged me to make it more than a little. So, I began working on other projects I’d never had time for: fixing leaks and looking for decent furniture, reclaiming the yard, learning to play a musical instrument (the dobro), and having some time for my husband, family and friends.

During this time of “not working” I thought about how I could be most effective in advocating for EVE’s rights. And it became clear to me that I needed to follow a different path when I did return to professional pursuits. I realized that I could spend the rest of my life working to make EVE’s lives better and never make a dent as long as the culture we live in continues to demean, restrict, and abuse them. So my new focus became figuring out exactly why culture is so anti-EVE and how to change that.

Part of my “research” during this period was talking to EVE at every opportunity about their problems and their passions. And it was during these conversations that I came to understand that not many EVE are aware of their TRUE social heritage or their TRUE power to change the way culture works. But telling them one at a time wasn’t going to inform very many. So the idea was born. I would write down these conversations and let all the women on the planet in on the “secrets” that they were social equals with men in the past and could be again in the future. And when I realized that I wanted to have this conversation with every member of our sex on the planet—Every Vagina on Earth—the title was set.

But the saying “Life is what happens when you’re making plans” became very true for me. The day after I finished computer courses to begin researching and writing the book my father suffered a stroke. As my sisters and I became involved in our parents’ daily struggles with this devastating event, it became apparent our mother was beginning to show signs of dementia. I probably could have assisted with caring for my parents and still began writing Conversations, but then life became even more complicated. A few months later, my grandson was born to a troubled marriage and I soon came to fill the role of mother as well as grandmother.

My family needed all the time I had for about six years. My parents passed away a few months apart, still living in their home with the love and care of family members, and my son and grandson moved to a place of their own. What now? It had been almost ten years since I first had thoughts of writing Conversations. And I knew that if I took a job right away, it would never be written. So, with the full backing of my husband I began the daunting task of writing my first book.

And here we are. Conversations with EVE will be printed in March, 2013, but the book is just the beginning of the Conversation. I will continue to talk with EVE about their problems and their passions and spread the word about the cultural (r)evolution that we can bring about. And this blog will be one way of doing that.

I am resuming my role as a visible, vocal advocate for EVE’s rights and EVE’s happiness. I hope you’ll join me on the journey!