Monday, July 29, 2013


There’s an interesting email making the rounds that just screams “GIRLFRIEND POWER!” because it talks about the amazingly wonderful effects EVE can get just from spending time with each other.

The accurate parts of the email tell us the following:

“In an evening class at Stanford University the last lecture was on the mind-body connection - the relationship between stress and disease. The speaker said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends.

At first everyone laughed, but he was serious. Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences.”

Although the claims made in the rest of the email sound wonderful, there's no research to support them ( But research does support the statement that spending time with your girlfriends can be as healthy as vitamins or exercise. This landmark study was conducted in 2007 by The Center on Stress and Health, directed by Dr. David Spiegel, Associate Chair and Professor, Stanford University’s School of Medicine Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences (the “speaker” in the email) on how the social environment, mind, brain and body connections can influence health.

This study ( compared two groups of EVE with advanced metastatic breast cancer. EVE in both groups received traditional medical care and were offered a self-directed educational intervention, as well as a 1-year membership to a consumer health library in their community. But the EVE in the intervention group also received weekly 90-minute sessions of supportive group therapy (GIRLFRIEND TIME). With the only difference being their support group time, these EVE not only experienced reduced anxiety, depression, and pain, but survived an average of eighteen months longer than EVE who did not take part in a support group. "These studies underscore the importance of treating people's psychosocial needs, not just their biological ones," Spiegel said.

Dr. Spiegel said that stress can actually elevate the chance of developing breast cancer, and that research has proven that creating and maintaining quality personal relationships with others is good for our physical health. So make sure that you get enough quality time with your girlfriends/sisters/mothers/etc.

Most of us already know how good this sharing/laughing/crying/complaining time is for us, but now there’s scientific proof to show that this kind of “psychosocial” EVE time is essential for both our mental and physical health. Here’s a toast to all the EVE in my life who support and heal me! And a huge wish that you each have EVE in your lives to do the same.

Sunday, July 21, 2013


Let me tell you a little secret—men have NOT always been in charge.

I’m not saying that in a flip kind of way, but in a totally serious way. Because understanding that “men have NOT always been in charge” is essential to solving the most pressing social, religious, and environmental issues facing the human race today. ALL OF THEM! But how could that be possible?

For the same reasons that you can’t read a newspaper or listen to the news these days without seeing a report about the latest controversy related to issues that affect EVE: rampant cases of sexual assault and domestic abuse, restricting access to contraception and abortion, less pay for the same job, and on and on. But what you don’t read or hear anything about is why EVE’s rights and freedoms are at issue in the first place:
- why are we arguing about EVE’s rights when men’s rights are taken for granted?
- where did the “traditional” belief that EVE are socially inferior and subservient to men come from?

The belief that EVE are inferior to men isn’t factual or logical, but it is deeply held and has unbelievable control over human society. But has that always been the case?

You may be surprised to know that the evidence tells us that it hasn’t and that human society operated very differently in the past. In fact, both EVE and men were valued and respected for 90 to 99% of the time we’ve been modern humans. Let me say that another way. Men were not controlling EVE or society for almost all of human cultural history. And that insight is crucial to understanding both the causes and the cures for crises like environmental destruction, overpopulation, and continual warfare. Why? Because those problems are directly caused by the same social values that declare men superior to EVE allow them to dominate and control women.

A perfect example of how these values play out in modern culture is the appalling level of sexual assault on women in the U.S. military. And the Air Force’s top general, Mark Welsh, recently pinpointed the attitude that drives this issue. He said, “We have a problem with respect for women.”

But there’s hope, because ordinary people hold extraordinary power to change those negative social values that are creating the problems. Every individual in every culture has the power to positively influence their society on a daily basis. This power lies in the trillions of routine choices that we all make, every day, everywhere. Because when we see “male superior” values for what they are (illogical and dysfunctional) we can start consciously making those trillions of choices based on the positive values that served humanity for millennia – respecting EVE and men as equal members of society, and maintaining a balance of power and authority between the sexes – and we can change the world.

Learn more about why EVE were honored and respected for tens of thousands of years and how the Myth of Male Superiority changed that, as well as easy actions you can do to bring that respect back in Conversations with EVE.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013


Groups of mostly male politicians are meeting, plotting, accusing, demanding, and threatening to take away EVE’s right to make their own choices about child bearing. And they’re not kidding.

But none of this political posturing, religious fervor, and EVE bashing ever gets to the point – ENABLING EVE TO ONLY BECOME PREGNANT WHEN THEY CHOOSE TO!!! Not one of these groups ever says anything about ending the need for abortion. They’re too busy crafting new ways to limit or take away EVE’s options about pregnancy.

You may have heard about the marathon filibuster by Texas State Senator Wendy Davis a few weeks ago to stop a bill to outlaw all abortions in Texas after 20 weeks and set completely unnecessary standards that will shut down almost every provider in the state. I say “will” because the legislature has already reconvened to pass the bill and Gov. Perry plans to sign it. So there’s little that can save Texan EVE’s rights this time. (Except the next election!)

This anti-EVE bill in Texas got a lot of press because of Sen. Davis’ filibuster, but there are bills like this and worse being passed in many, many state legislatures in direct violation of EVE’s civil and legal rights. Arkansas legislators passed a bill banning abortion after just 12 weeks, and North Dakota legislators are working on a set of bills that would outlaw abortion after just 6 weeks, a time when many EVE don’t even know they’re pregnant. And, of course, the U.S. House of Representatives passed a bill in in June to outlaw abortions after 20 weeks.

But none of these legislators seem to have ever held an intelligent, socially responsible discussion about making abortion UNNECESSARY not just limited or illegal.

There are billions of words spoken and printed about every aspect of the abortion debate. Except one. I’ve never seen one report about a serious discussion about why abortion is still even necessary for millions of EVE in America and around the globe every year. (The media won’t tell you, but you can find out exactly what’s going on in Conversations with EVE.)

So maybe we should ask our state and national political leaders when they plan to schedule this discussion. Then we could ask the real questions right out loud:

1. When are you going to understand that EVE don’t want to need abortions?
2. When are EVE going to have the social power to plan our pregnancies?

It’s time to convene new panels and ask the questions BEFORE they take us completely back to the 1950s when abortions were back alley and contraceptives were only for the rich.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013


No, it’s not a new secret play in the NFL. It’s what I call the feeling EVE get when they’re getting dressed and don’t want to wear a bra, but know it’s considered to be in bad taste if their nipples show through their shirts. It doesn’t even matter if the breasts are AA or DD, nipples are to be hidden. Period. So the need for comfort battles social propriety when you don’t want to commit a NIPPLE OFFENSE.

And that’s not necessarily a bad thing, mind you, but it is a curious thing. Because it’s acceptable, even popular, to expose every other part of the breast, but it’s a no-no to the showing of nipples. Why?

Well, maybe it’s because the nipple reminds men that our breasts were designed my Mother Nature to feed our infants, not to swing tassles or drape over a log for a swimsuit issue. Maybe not.

Maybe it’s because hiding something actually makes it more titillating (every pun intended!). People who practice nudism or go to clothing optional beaches tell you that after just a little while it’s just people, just skin. In fact, a friend told me that there are rules at naturist camps prohibiting the wearing of bathing suit pieces at the pool, because they are actually more alluring than the naked body. Maybe not.

And now a 15-year study tells us that bras are actually harmful to EVE’s breasts. Hint- they actually sag more from wearing bras. Read more about this at

I don’t know if other EVE are like me, but I definitely know which shirts I can comfortably wear braless and which ones I can’t. And I’m not completely sure that the showing of nipples through clothes would be a step forward for EVE. Just sayin’ it’s a curious thing.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013


It’s almost unbelievably cruel and unfair! Yet, in 44 states it’s perfectly legal to fire EVE for being survivors of domestic abuse. And it’s legal to evict EVE victims from their home for “creating a nuisance” if they call the police for protection. I know that “blame the victim” is the strategy to keep EVE silent about their abuse, but this is outrageous.

Once again, abuse of EVE is treated differently than other violent crimes. People aren’t fired or evicted when they are attacked or injured in an assault and battery case. So how can American society possibly justify such legal inequality that keeps abuse victims at the mercy of their abusers?

There are many reasons that escaping an abusive home can be extremely difficult for EVE. But studies show that up to 75% of abuse victims are forced to stay and endure beatings and demeaning treatment simply because they can’t afford to go anywhere else. So this mindset actually gives abusers greater power to control their victims by getting them fired for creating a situation at their job. These EVE are further punished just for being victims, because NO job = NO ability to leave!

But Congress has the power to change this terrible situation by passing the SAFE (Security and Financial Empowerment) Act. This bill won’t stop the abusers, but it would at least protect survivors from employer backlash and ban discrimination in hiring. It would also provide a safety net by making EVE eligible for unemployment benefits if they must leave their jobs to go into hiding from their abuser.

Thanks to Nita, Shaunna, Kat, Malinda and Karin, the UltraViolet team @